This word best describes something that was long lost in my life. The rifts and ripple effects of consequence and self indulgence not only barred me from obtaining such a simple feeling but also left me with no desire to even chase after it in the end. Emotionless tears brewed inside and would spill out because I knew that I had no desire to be hopeful. Living a life through the happiness in others became the way in which I functioned and also led to my demise. Today I am scarred, battered and bruised but I am strong. I am hopeful.
I am no longer the punching bag of life. I bob and weave and still remain unguarded. My arms stay to my side and all barriers are crumbled beside me. My eyes drained of those hopeless tears are open. I hear the wonderful sounds of the world around me and I smile. Occasionally when I catch myself smiling, I smile harder and completely embrace the most primitive emotion that I felt I was excluded from. All of which is lost can be found in one way or another. It simply takes the desire to face the mirror and, with rigorous honesty, face that demonic presence or time in your life that makes you cringe and make a concerted effort to, not only change the path for the future, take a stroll back through the rubble and rebuild the foundation on which you want to rebuild your life.
I ask for all those who feel hopeless to at least conger up enough courage to say to yourself that you will be hopeful of having hope. Cupid's arrow has hit a lot of us in the face. Many of us are alone. Many of us struggle with addiction and finances. Many of us have been abused. It is these things that make us unique. These things are those that build bonds between people like you and I. The answers are not written in black and white, for every situation is different. Embrace yourself, for your survival has been valiant, and share yourself with the world. Reach out and embrace your community, or a loved one or someone you know that is plagued with this paralytic disease and, rather your hopeful in your life or not, give them hope. It will be returned to you ten and one hundred fold.
